We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars

Friday, June 23, 2006


Don’t know what’s up with me but I feel really anxious about going out lately. I really feel like a super lame homebody but all I want to do is stay home. I don’t like going out anymore. I don’t know why. I just feel like I want do go out and do new things, but we always do similar things. I guess it’s my fault because I sold my/our car, but I just wish we did things, we don’t really do things. I want to go out to comedy clubs and try to explore the city more, but we just don’t. Tonight we are going to an outdoor concert and there is supposed to be torrential downpours. Freaking blah. But I was the one who wanted to see Def Leppard and Journey so I guess it’s my fault. After the concert we have to go to some super smoky bar to watch our friends band play (which we will likely miss cause of the other concert) and then hang out as our other friend is moving out west this weekend. I just feel really anxious in a pile of these people I don’t know why. Its here that I wish I had just one friend that was just mine. Cause Hub spends a stupid amount of time with me so when we are out with his friends he gets all excited and wants to go talk to them but somehow I end up getting left behind in the shuffle and I don’t know why. It’s not his fault, he always leaves me talking with someone but then they inevitably leave to go catch up with someone else and then I get that awful panicky feeling in my stomach that I am standing there alone. And so many times I just want to leave and go home but it’s not the right thing to do…I don’t know why that is. I wonder if I would still be feeling the same if we were surrounded by my friends…

Don't I just sound insanely negative and boring!? Sheesh


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