We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Wet Dog and the rest of my life

Last week the bathroom on the floor above us at work flooded. (gross) Flooded all down the walls of my office (double gross) So last week we had to deal with loud fans blowing all over the place to try to sop up some of the water. I am not sure how well it worked cause this week the entire place smells like wet golden retriever. (my grandparents used to own one so I can speak on some authority here) It's foul. To make up for such disgusting work environment the building management provided us with continental breakfast. I personally don't feel like muffins and fake OJ make up for wet dog smell. The elevators even reek...and some thoughtful person keeps liberally spraying 'Polo' by Ralph Lauren. So I have been practicing holding my breath a few times a day for 12 floors. I figure this can just be some new form of survival training.
The Hub is working late tonight so I thought I would try to be kickass wife-type and make his favourite meatloaf (father-in-laws recipe) as a treat for dinner. I emailed said FIL for recipe and this is what he sent back :Ground Sirloin, One Egg, salt & pepper, breadcrumbs, onion soup mix, Worcestershire sauce ( a teaspoon).Combine ingredients , Mold into a meatloaf. I don't know why but I feel like that was the cutest recipe I have ever seen. I have no idea how much of anything, but the end result is to stick it into meatloaf formation. So pray for me as I venture into this (Semi)unknown world of cooking. my friend Liz attempted Meatloaf earlier this week and told me it came out more like MeatLOAD. They had to send out for pizza. I was hoping that meatloaf was foolproof, we shall soon see.
I have been pretty depressed lately. I am surprised by the amount of random things that I see and hear about that remind me of my Dad. Almost lost it watching a commercial for golf on ESPN--I never knew Vijay Singh could get to me so much! There are so many little things that I took for granted I would just talk to my Dad about another time. The finality of death is just so sombering and shitty. Again, try to think of the blessings, but sometimes its easier to just be selfish and angry. I didn't realize what crazy things that grief can do to your body (and mind) I have more zits than I ever have had in my life, I have to force myself to shower cause I am feeling so lazy, and I had convinced myself I was pregnant. Yeesh. Hub is helping as much as he can but really what can he do? He has gotten really good at knowing just when I need a hug and at making the perfect cup of tea, and telling me that I am going to get a little bit ripe if I don't hop in the shower asap. I just feel really helpless sometimes now and it's so nice to have someone to just take charge for a bit.


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