We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars

Friday, January 19, 2007

Today I feel like

Last night D surprised me by scoring cheap tickets to see the musical “Edward Scissorhands”. When we got there we soon realized that it was a ballet and not a musical! I think he was surprised, but he stuck it out and actually ended up really liking it. It was nice to go out and do something fun other than hanging out at home and watching TV etc. That was definitely one thing that I do love about living in the city—we walked the 5 blocks to and from the theatre…and it was an option to go out last minute. Maybe I really am not in a rush to have a baby after all!

Today started off rather early with an obscure, and I am guessing wrong number text message. 4.16am the melodic tone of my “text message received” notification went off. “I still haven’t paid for those buckles yet" I'll suss it out tomorrow”...what the heck does that mean? The number was from overseas judging from the 001 and extra numbers at the end…I wrote back asking if it was my brother but they never replied. So that was kind of weird. I then had nightmares while I was trying to fall back asleep that I couldn’t use my arms. When my alarm went off I realized that both my arms were asleep as I had been laying on them. Duh.

(backup notes on the following paragraph: For Christmas my mum got me the thought-a-day “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff” calendar. She used to get it for my Dad every year and he would always call me up with the thoughts of the day he thought would apply to me. Sometimes they are a bit obvious, but it’s nice to have something positive every day that reminds me of my Dad.) Today the thought was “What you Practice is what you become”. I kind of like it but it makes me realize that I need to practice some new things other than procrastinating. Mum always tells me that if I do something for 21 days it’s a habit (ie. Flossing, not leaving my clothes on the floor every night…) so I think I need to think of some good things to practice so that I can “become” them. What should they be?

On a related note I am involved in a game of psychological warfare with a girl I work with. She very much started it and is keeping it going, but I am too annoyed with her to actually confront her about it. The three of us used to hang out at work a lot until she started ignoring me and my other coworker. It stems back to a situation a month ago where we didn’t come to a happy hour. First of all, she didn’t know until that day whether or not it was going on, secondly it was pouring rain and crappy out. So we both decided not to come. And she hasn’t spoken to either one of us since. This happened one time before and she finally got around to talking about it and we got over it, but this time I just thought “what, are you ten”? And I don’t want to bother trying to repair our obviously flawed friendship. So it’s fun because I ran into her in the bathroom the other day and I knew she was waiting in the stall for me to leave cause she didn’t want to have to actively ignore me…so I took my time, talked to another woman who was in there, washed my hands slowly…and actually enjoyed doing it. I really am a nice friendly girl, but this woman is pissing me off. She can’t just talk to me about being upset that I missed her happy hour and its somehow better to lose two friends and fully ignore people (as in won’t even make eye contact with us). I feel like I should walk up to her and be the grownup and ask her what her problem is, but I think that since she feels she is somehow punishing me by not talking to me I don’t want to give her the satisfaction of appearing like I care. Am I being an idiot?


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