We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

My pseudo resume

I started looking for a new job this week. Well to be more precise I continued with getting my resume together this week…the difficult part in this is that for the kind of job I am looking for, my awesome experiences waitressing and working retail through college don’t exactly apply. So as I am putting this together it looks really sparse…naked and sad really. It’s discouraging. I am looking at examples online and one suggests adding objectives or goals. What is it I am looking for in my new job? I had some ideas….
Looking for a job that allows me to:

· Work from home one or two days a week (preferably Monday and Friday)
· Flexible hours (after a hard weekend sometimes its hard to get in for 8am!)
· At least an hour for lunch
· Access to unsupervised internet (for MSN messenger and blogging of course)
· Unlimited sick days
· 25 days off per year
· A Christmas party
· Summer hours

Opportunity to be Creative
· Chance to become passionate about said job
· Room for advancement

While I was working on this I also started thinking about my marketable skills…I have some good skills, mad skills if you will, I just need to figure out how to best spin them so that I will get a fabulous job :

· Proficient with MSN Messenger, I know how to add emoticons, including but not limited to smiley face, thumbs up and big kiss
· I can spend hours looking busy while am actually reading blogs, keeping up to date on my celebrity gossip, and emailing
· Was actually bred for my magic skills…no wait that’s not me…
· Can quote almost any stoner comedy movie from the late 80s to now. (this also applies to Simpson episodes, as well as the Sex and the City repertoire)
· Have most witty sense of humor (clearly! As is displayed in this blog)
· Can unwittingly pick out the most uncomfortable pair of shoes in a shop
· Have good people skills, as have spent years being outwardly friendly to people who drive me to drink
· Can keep a secret
· Can give advice (however quality of said advice is up for debate)

So this seems to be a good demonstration of my skills and what it is I am looking for. Anyone want to hire me?


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