The weekend approaches

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And unfortunately I won't be taking much part in it. It is the yearly craft show weekend here in small town Ontario and that equals a crazy busy fruit stand. I think literally bus loads of people stop in to buy baked goods, apples and get some small town hospitality. The only thing keeping me sane is that friends of mine are supposed to come up to take me out to dinner Sat night. Jen is about 16 weeks pregnant and I want to rub her belly and hear all about the exciting plans she is making with her hubby. They want to come up and take some pretty fall photos so we just need to get together and we can both be happy.

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Yesterday I started doing something that I have put aside for more than a year now...quilting. I had wanted to make one for my cousins daughter who is now 6 months old, so I got a move on and have the top almost finished now. I also bought material to make one for Jen's little bean (who they figured out was a boy and they have named him Liam) and have started looking at one to make for my friend Melissa who will need a gender neutral one. I also want to make one for myself. However I am the QUEEN of UFOs (unfinished objects) so I need a little help and motivation to get them going. My friends mum is a quilter and she said she would be happy to help me get something together to finish them (see I can sew the tops but I don't know how to finish them off) So I am hoping to get the tops finished soon and I can have her help putting them together.

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I am having a hard time walking today as my legs are all cramped up from kickboxing. HAHA. What a workout though. 27 years of pent up aggression can finally come out. I am not a yeller so this is new for me and it feels fabulous! I was going to get up and go for a run this morning but I am really stiff so I am going to go for a nice long walk with my Mum instead. I plateaued for a while with the weight loss but I am starting to notice a change again. It is really exciting. I guess right in time for fall!

Dear Dante and other news

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Dear Dante--let me know how the relationship building goes. Mix Cd's are one of my fave things to get from someone cause you really can get a glimpse of that persons taste, personality etc...So best wishes to you with that. Funny how you can be lead to people on the Internet. I knew that there was a reason I always posted song lyrics!

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My quest for that awesome job is taking a little longer than originally anticipated. The hours I was getting at the clothing shop are now dwindling due to the slower pace of the fall. So I picked up a second job at a local fruit stand. Yes where I live might be officially called the Apple Capital of Ontario...and so I am working for a family friend now selling apples and making pies. It isn't really where I pictured myself at this point in my life but I am learning new things and I know that what ever happens is supposed to happen. I am no longer making good money, but I can recommend what apples are best for making pies/sauce/cakes. No knowledge is wasted knowledge. I guess it is good to have a reason to have to leave the house every day. Although it is weird to be at a job where I am not on the computer every day. I loved being able to check in with my friends on MSN all day and write my blog and do whatever else (I guess that would speak to my newly increased work productivity...hmmm) But for all the crap work wise, I am loving being home so much. I don't mind living with my Mum and my brother, although I do miss having some of my own space. It does feel great for once to be able to just be responsible for me. I get to make all the decisions that effect me and it is nice not to be thinking of anyone else. I am a bit lonely at times as most of my friends are in relationships right now, but it does feel good to have time to myself. I think I never took that earlier in my life when I had the chance and it is something that I have drastically needed. I think that I am the kind of person who tends to take on traits of the people I date. My views, desires and dreams seem to be radically similar to people I have dated even though they are not at all alike. How is that possible? I think that I can be easily influenced and just adapt their dreams to my own. I think that I am going to keep using this time to find out who I am and what it is I really want.

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Tomorrow night my friend Liz and I are going on a "date". We make plans to see each other a lot but inevitably something comes up and we end up canceling so Liz in all her infinite wisdom decided that we needed to schedule "dates" so that we would actually go out. Our original plan was Thai food and then go see "Across the Universe" but it isn't actually playing at our local theatre so I don't know where the night will take us. How exciting. I think I need to keep making plans to go out and do things cause looking forward to something really helps get through the week. This week I have kickboxing on Wed night, Thursday off and then I work Fri-Wed so I am not really looking forward to the weekend this weekend. It's the local craft show and apparently my work becomes a total shit show. But money is money so what can I say. Dear Jesus please help me find a "real" job asap. Last week my grandma told me that she knew what I should do--I should be on the news as a anchor. Like you just pop in and apply for it like that, but I thought it was adorable that she thought that was the perfect job for me. I could also be an astronaut...

Today

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Due to the unfortunate behaviour of my husband who leaves comments as "Anonymous" thinking that they veil his identity, I have set my comments to moderated. So if you leave me a comment it will be emailed to me and if it isn't a direct attack on me as a person or my mother I will accept it right away. I have been keeping away from my blog and from the net for a while lately as I tend to get nervous to see what he has done, but in a step for self preservation I am taking back what I love and no longer worrying about what he is going to try to do or say to hurt me. Enough of the negative talk...for last night I fell in love....

...with Nintendo Wii!!!! I went down to Guelph to visit my friend Erin on Monday and decided to head to London on Tuesday to spend the night with my friend Lindsay and her husband Jesse. They took me out to an awesome sushi dinner, we went to Value Village to get snazzy outfits for this weekends "wear white before Labour Day" party and then home to drink some vino and play some Wii. I have never really been a videogamer. I loved me some Duckhunt back in the day, but I never got too involved with the continual evolution of playstation and Nintendo. But I really really want a Wii. We played the Sporting game selection, bowling, golf, tennis and some boxing. I was actually sweating playing the boxing and managed to KO Lindsay. What a lot of fun. Today I am not up to too much, cleaning my room (feel like I am in high school haha) and making dinner--I just got a cool recipe for Chicken with artichokes and melted lemons...if it turns out well I will post it. Anyway this is likely a mundane post, but I miss my internet peeps and want everyone to know I am still alive. xo

Duh

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As I suspected and part of the reason I hadn't posted anything about my marriage before, last night D read it and was hurt. I am removing the post and will no longer discuss my relationship with him online. I will say however that he wrote a post about me leaving and forwarded it to mutual friends, my coworkers, family members and his entire family. Apparently this is different. I was just trying to write something basic but I should have gone with my original feeling which was to not write anything at all.

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I have decided to train for a mini triathalon. (which I think I am spelling wrong so I might want to rethink that!) My friend Lindsay did one last summer so we thought it would be fun to either relay one this year or try to do the mini one. So far I have a pretty good jogging pace but I have to kick it up several notches for the swimming and biking. I think that next week I am going to try to bike one town over. I will be sure to have my brother on notice so that if I can do the 14K but not come back he can pick me up! I just got home from a 3k jog, I can't do the whole 5k at a good pace yet but I am working my way up to it. I was having crazy anxious dreams last night of trying to get ready for my first day of University and I couldnt find a bra and my Ipod (apparently two things never to leave the house without) and I woke up in a panic. Also there were earwigs infesting the apartment I was living in. Gross. So I am finding that running is really helping me relieve stress which is something it never did before. It was always a source of stress as I was lazy and didn't want to get on the treadmill. Maybe I just like running outside? Anyway off to shower then work.

(somewhat) Lazy Sunday

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I slept in this morning which was gorgeous! For the past week I have been waking up about 7am like clockwork due to a combined force of birds that chirp exceedingly loudly and the sun creeping in my window. For some reason (perhaps cause I moved to the couch in the basement around 4am I managed to stay asleep til around 10:30! I got up and Mum and I had coffee sitting out on the back deck just hanging out, watering the flowers out there and chatting. Was lovely. Erin called and we had a good chat about her coming birthday weekend. I think I am going to head to Midland next weekend for some BBQ action. We want to do some fun yet cheap stuff on Friday night so if anyone has some good ideas let me know :) After my restful coffee/phone break we got my brother up to help us clear out the shed in the back garden. We need it for storage and it still is full of icky and smells like chicken poop (the former owner kept chickens in her back yard of course) So we used a power washer to clean out the inside after we got all the crap out. I think my brother power washed my butt and legs more than the inside of the shed, but I guess that must be a temptation hard to refuse...little brother with a water distribution unit...older sister hanging around. I guess he had to do it!

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Yesterday was my first day of work at the restaurant. I made a whopping $5 in tips! I was in training so it was to be expected but I was still hoping to clear the double digits. It is a really cool place to work and I am looking forward to getting in there more often. I was supposed to work today as well but I think they overstaffed even for someone in training.

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I didn't get to see Tara while she was here or meet her daughter Sophie. I am so disappointed. I had made plans to go up Friday night after work and see them up in Muskoka but the stars were aligned against us with about 35 things that made it impossible. The car I am driving (I will put photos up soon for sure) has a litany of issues and our mechanic didn't think I should take it too far without having the water pump replaced. My Mum's car needed to be taken to the dealership about an hour and a half away to have some warranty piece put on the brakes and I couldn't use my brothers car cause he needed it to get to work. Also my allergies were foul and I didn't want to subject anyone to that. Fortunately she is back in August for her brothers wedding so I will see her then. It is so hard to try to make plans at the moment as my brain is goo and just so much is going on.

Let the sneezing commence

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I am a fool. For the past week I was thinking that perhaps I somehow have outgrown the allergies that have plagued me for most of my life. I was starting to feel really positive and relatively snot-free til last night. My mum and I met up with my youngest brother at his place of employment and had some dinner. As I was finishing up my last beer, my throat started to itch...not an easy task one would think. So I sat in some discomfort til we headed for the car to get back home. I started sneezing a bit in the car and by the time we got home it was full blown disgustingness. I didn't sleep at all really last night cause I was literally waking up every 30mins to blow my nose and sneeze in abundance. I am very frustrated cause it has also derailed my fitness plan of going for a jog every morning cause today I could hardly get out of bed. The weather has also spiked today at a very balmy 30 C. (i forget how to convert to F at the moment, but suffice it to say it is warm out) I am supposed to go up north to Muskoka today to visit a very dear friend and to snuggle with her daughter but I just don't know if I am going to make it. Everything has come up at the last minute--we have to take my Mums car in due to some potentially fatal breakline issue, and I have to start waitress training tomorrow at 8am!

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On a way less pleasant note--I lost my job in the US! I had applied for Family Medical Leave Act which I thought I was in good standing to get but it didn't work out and so I am now unemployed for the first time in years. Kind of freaky. I have some opportunities up here but currently they aren't in the field where I can make that much money, so for some time I think it will feel like I am missing a zero from the end of my paycheque. I just feel a bit negative today cause i had been feeling so super awesome as of late and now I just feel like things are all coming apart. Blech

If I can still drink that much at 90...

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Yesterday we had a birthday party for my Grandparents. Earlier this month my Grandma turned 90 and on Friday my Grandfather turned 85. My family thought it fitting to throw them a big party and we did it in style. It was a lot of fun to have family and friends together for a joyous occasion as the last time we gathered en masse it was for a funeral. Needless to say this was a whole lot more fun. It feels so weird to be home and not rushing to do all the things I usually have to cram into a weekend. It feels so freeing to be able to make plans with friends for next week and actually be around to celebrate my best friend's birthday. It is strange to be away from Philly and since I guess it hasn't completely settled in yet that I am not going back in a day or two I think the homesickness will come a bit later. Right now I am still so excited to be drinking red wine with my grandma and getting teased by my younger brothers. It feels so nice to be all together again without such sadness immediately hanging over us. But I digress, the party was awesome. My best friend and her boyfriend came up to hang out for the day (they actually slept over as well) You know someone is your best friend when they will come up to your house to celebrate a familial birthday and kick it with your aunts and uncles. We managed to sneak away to have some quick catching up in conjunction with many many glasses of wine. I am currently putting my photos on the computer and was surprised to notice that I had taken 323 pics yesterday. Well I didn't take them all as family members were enamoured with the Nikon so I have many many random photos of things like the sink and potted plants--I have to go through them a bit before I upload to shutterfly. I thought I would post a few of my faves up here:

Me and my brothers

My cousin and her daughter checking out the fish pond

Me kiss mauling my bestie