We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars

Monday, January 30, 2006

Who's that girl (la la la la la la la la)

Clearly I am not that girl. I see these women every day on my way to and from work (and on my lunch break as well) They just look so polished and put together. They have fab hair, clothes, shoes and some how their makeup just looks perfectly applied for the duration of the day.

I am not frumpy, dowdy, drab or ugly, but as I am walking along side these girls my middle school ugly duckling complex rears its ugly head. I put makeup on in such a way to enhance my features not to look like a cake face, but I think it lasts from the time I leave my apt until I get to work, it just doesn’t stay on my face. I can do nothing with my hair. It’s long and thick and I am spastic when trying to do something with it. All my awesome hairdo adventures look like I let a kid play beauty shop with my head. So my all so exciting styles range from down and staticy to pseudo ponytail to the ever popular dressy pony tail…its kinda limiting. And no matter how hard I try to buy “cool” clothes and dress cool it just doesn’t work. I come across as having a lack of coolness factor, but its just sad. I want to be polished and put together and not still look and dress like I did in high school.

Friday, January 27, 2006

The Morning After Pill, Sly Stallone and other gems

Ok, they make a morning after pill for those pesky unwanted pregnancies, but why dont they make one for those other pesky morning after issues...for instance, last night I got high and ate WAY too much Chinese food. Woke up this morning with the same feeling of regret and angst as I feel would warrant a morning after pill...one to ease my pain and suffering and make me not have to worry about the concequences of my stupidity. (ie. Spending all day cursing my unmitigated eating habits, going to the bathroom 400 times, and the general malaise and nausea that accompanies that) Who's with me?
Last night I met up with the Hub and one of his friends at Irish Pub (a bar on 20th and Walnut) on the way there I noticed a camera crew, and TONS of people. I had stumbled on to the location of the next scene shoot for Rocky 6!! So I stood around looking extra pretty and willing some casting director to walk by and cast me as the gorgeous yet troubled female lead in the movie...alas..no one noticed me....other than the homeless guy who wanted cashola. Such is my life. *insert dramatic sigh here*
Today I started studying for my GMAT...and shortly thereafter I started wondering why I thought I was able to write the GMAT. I have a clear memory sometime around Grade 11 when I said "Math is stupid and I hate it and I will never ever use it again, so no, I am not taking it next year" so I didn't....and now its coming back to bite me in the ass. I was doing the practice tests and quelle surprise!... I can't even remember how to do percentages or basic geometry. By some crazy twist of fate I recalled the Pythagorean Theorm and therefore got one question right...but my final score was 12/37 for the math part. Budding Business School success story I am not. But I have piqued my sense of adventure and reinvigorated my love of failure, so onwards and upwards.

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Free Time at work

1) Have finished writing belated thank you notes to Hubs family to thank them for Christmukkah gifts (why is that always my job I wonder)

2)Browsed through kraftfoods.com to find various recipies for our new crock pot and just healthyish recipies in general

3) Located several items I need to keep me on the path to "coolness" such as this phone...no idea why it will up my cool factor, I can just tell that it will.

4) Located various online study tools for my GMAT (while realizing that I dont have a chance in hell to pass the mathmatics part) but feeling good that I seemed to fly past the English requirements (yeah that BA came in handy finally...woooo)

5) Browsed through Ebay successfully not bidding on anything--yeah guy

6) caught up on my two fave blogs:http://tinykingdom.ivillage.com/parenting/ http://thisfish.ivillage.com/love/

7) finally caught up on replying to some emails, phone calls and various other correspondence.


Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Grownup schmownup

For a long time I ran from the title, but I feel that now, at 25 and married, I can embrace it. I remember dying to be older for YEARS of my youth. I wanted to be in another place in my life, done school, happier and not stuck in the rut that I felt my youth had dubbed me with. So here is to becoming a grownup this year. I no longer want to wish that I was any older or in any different a place. I am instead going to embrace my "grownupness" and make this be a year to remember.

Monday, January 23, 2006

Belated non-resolutions

Every year I make a mental list of New Year resolutions and the never seem to stick past the end of January. I thought that maybe if I title them as "non-resolutions" that this year I might have some luck. They are all in the vein of lifestyle modifications and I KNOW that if somehow I can follow through on any of them my mental state will give me a big old "cheers". I have come up with a general list that I think should cut it.

  1. Organization--meaning, my finances, my home, my desk at work and my life in general. I always thought my Mum bugging me about cleaning my room was ridiculous, but now I am seeing that I really need to listen. If I know where my things are, I will minimize my mini-freakouts in the mornings as I am rushing off to work and cant for the life of me find where I put my glasses, our creditcard bill, cable bill various other necessities.
  2. Health--This counts both towards healthy eating as it does exercising. The most exercise I have had since Grade 12 gym class has been walking to and from the car...doesnt really count, and let me tell ya my muscles are not impressed. (Started doing situps and the like this weekend...my abs are killing me) I would really love for at least one summer since I was 16 to feel fabulous in a bikini. I mean I wear them, but dont feel like the sex pot that I deserve to be in one. And as I have been fast learning, I do not know what constitutes as "healthy eating" I used to think trail mix was a healthy snack until the hub explained that "no hun, thats 250 calories PER SERVING" great, as I had just finished about 2.5 servings that were in the bag! I have been making healthier choices in my diet and am going to just have to swear off McDonalds for life.
  3. Motivation-- I have great ideas for things that I want to learn and accomplish in my life. I want to go back to school, I want to finish cleaning my apartment, I want to learn to use my manual camera, to travel more, to save money, to be crafty (not in the insidious way more so in the Martha Stewart way) I plan to strive to complete tasks this year (like the quilt that I started for Hubs birthday in July...and is in three pieces lying around our bedroom...;) ) I am gona get off my ass and start studying for my GMAT and try to take some steps to get me where I want to be in life.

So we will just all see where this goes in the coming months, but I feel at 25, now is as good a time as any to get my shit together and be happy. I figure that since I have been neglecting my journal in the past few months, this is a good way for me to keep on top of things.

(Ebay) Success at last!

After spending tons o'dough buying things from the most addictive Ebay, I had decided to take a stand. NO MORE EBAY! I found myself bidding on (and winning) tons of useless items that while cute, I have no room for in my wee apartment. (and when they arrive the hub asks the ever annoying questions "whats that?" "how much did you spend on that?" and "Why the heck did you think we needed that?") So after a three month long hiatus from Ebay, I decided last week that I should start selling some of the aforementioned useless items that have taken up residence with us. I started with a stuffed Oscar the Grouch from Dave and Busters. The kicker to this is that I think the hub and I spent like $50 buying tickets to play skeeball, so essentially this Oscar cost us a ton of dough, but...had to get start somewhere. Long story short, I sold him for $7.00! hurray....but as I was online playing with the selling account...I spent like $25 on craft supplies from Ebay. CURSES foiled again. But its my new plan to start selling the junk thats lying around our apartment. Various old Dvds, Books etc. I am wondering if the Hub might start parting with items from his collection of Eagles paraphernalia...

I have minimal self control with money, and I think the appeal with Ebay is that in my naieve Canadian mind, its like gambling to me. I dont go to the casinos, but I will admit to the quick rush/thrill when I bid on something. That seems really sad doesnt it? Apparently I need more adventure in my life if that is what is giving me a little thrill.