We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

A few of my favourite things

In my week away with my mum I discovered a few new things that have quickly made it to the list of my favourite things:

-Amplified MAC lipstick in 'Profusion' (Shade description: Extravagant rose (Amplified Creme) )

-Undies from American Eagle. The boy briefs and the hipsters are honestly the most comfy undies I have ever owned. They also have cute matching camis and tank tops. Excellent

-Kashi Autumn Wheat cereal. This is super tasty and now my afternoon snack of choice.

-Coach purses. I got one at the outlet in Delaware and now I am 100% totally in love with it

-Liquid eyeliner. I have used pencils since I started wearing makeup but I bravely tried some out last week and I really really like it. Only problem is that its water proof and I need to get some better eye makeup remover or else I will have it on my lids for eternity.

-The Sony Treo. I ordered this phone on the cheap from Ebay and wasn't sure what to expect. Honestly? I am in love! It is like a palm pilot and phone in one so my attempts to be more organized might actually work!!! I don't really know how to work it yet and I have to figure out the "hot sync" thing but I am hopeful that this will help me :)

-Facebook. Ok I dont even know why I like the thing so much but I am hooked. I found a girl I used to babysit about 10 years ago, the first boy I had a crush on and my long lost cousin...


Friday, February 16, 2007

Foiled Again

I have some cute pictures to post and great things to write about my Valentines day surprise, my sadness that The OC is almost over and that my Mum is coming to visit for a week...but work has been really busy, crazy so in that I can't even make time to post (I can't believe work is getting in the way of my blogging and other online activities) And something wonky happened a few weeks ago with my laptop so I can't use any dropdown menus or select any buttons on the screen...so I can't post any photos or even select [Post] to post my blog from home. So this is my halfassed blog post for a while just to let people know I haven't died or run away...I am just having the universe working against me here...is that a sign?

Friday, February 02, 2007

5 months

This Sunday it will be 5 months since my Dad died. As each month passes I get more and more worried that I am forgetting things. My mum said that all the clothes in his closet don't smell like him anymore. I am terrified to forget what that smell is. I sometimes am already straining to remember his laugh, and I am so scared that I will wake up one morning and it will be gone. Things in my life have been really stressful lately and I just wish I could call him up and have him listen to me. He always had a half laugh chuckle as he said "oh sweetheart" as I divulged all the crap that was weighing me down. I think I still keep getting hit with the finality of it all--every now and then I just think "ok, I have had enough you need to come back now" and it is as if I am opening a fresh wound as it comes back that forever means no more. I don't know why I thought that I would some how be over this by now--even as I am writing this my eyes are getting hot and the screen is blurring.

I try to just think of fun memories so that I can smile when I think of him instead of cry:

--him watching sports on Sundays just for the Eagles and the Bills scores so he could call D and my brothers to discuss the games with them. He didn't really even care about football he was a golf man.

--him buying me a Hilary Radley coat the first year we were a family as he was complete appalled that I was planning on wearing my ski coat over my dress to my high school winter formal.

--how he asked my brothers and I individually for our permission to propose to our Mum.

--how he never once said a bad word against my real father.

--how he would get so choked up with emotion when we did the smallest things for him.

--how he made sure my best friend had snow tires for her car cause that was SO important to him.

ok, at least I am smiling now.


Happy Groundhog Day

What a weird holiday. Apparently this morning, PA's most famous groundhog "Phil" predicted that it would be an early spring. Seeing as we have barely had a winter I don't see that as a mindblowing prediction. It seems like a pointless holiday, meant for nothing more than reminding me that I love Bill Murray.

I had a hard time getting up this morning. My alarm went off and I just really really prayed that it was magically Saturday and I didn't have to get up. I didn't get much sleep last weekend due to the wedding madness, and I am really looking forward to one morning (tomorrow) when I can sleep past 7:00. I know that it isn't crazy early the time I have to get up, but I feel motivated in the mornings and I am hoping to just wake up tomorrow, do some reading, clean the bathroom as it's now almost at the "dont want my bare feet to touch the tile" stage, maybe finally take the three bags of clothes taking up room on my floor to the Salvation army to donate. Oh the possibilities are endless. Just sometimes not being at work makes all the difference. I think it has just been a long week. David's injuries from the car accident have seemed to get worse in the past few weeks. His neck is a lot better but his lower back is really hurting. It's unfortunately putting a strain on both of us as he is grumpy from being in constant pain and I just have a hard time being around him when he is so cranky. He doesn't mean to come across as mean and gruff, but when you are home and relaxing its difficult to be sharing a space with someone who is feeling so miserable. I am trying to work harder at being more supportive since he is in a lot of pain, but I just want my old husband back!

As lame as this is, last night while watching the OC I started getting a bit nostalgic, for the good old days. You know, when Ryan was still the boy from the wrong side of the tracks and Julie Cooper-Nichol-Cooper was still scheming up super evil ways to make everyone's lives miserable. Now there are just three episodes left. How did we come so far?! and why do I actually care it's ending?

On a way more exciting note--last weekend I bought a camera!!! My grandma wanted to give my brothers and I some money before she died so she could see that we could enjoy it now. (makes me nervous coming from an 89 year old woman) I have been wanting one for a while and I absolutely LOVE taking photos, so I bought a Nikon D40. I am going to figure out how to link Flickr to my blog so I can share all my super awesome photos with the internet :) Yesterday my friend Mari and I went out on our lunch break and took some fun photos of Philly. Well more so the immediate area around our office cause it was really cold out, but it was so much fun. If anyone has advice on F/ settings and aperture tricks I would be up for it as I am a slow learner.