We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars

Friday, December 29, 2006

Likely last post of 2006!

I have to say that Christmas went a lot better than I thought it would. There were some tears, but we really managed to just hang out as a family and really pull together. D had got my mum a star named after my dad which was a lovely tribute that she was really delighted with. It was really hard not to have my Dad there (especially since he looked like Santa..with his white beard and his twinkley eyes) but it was really nice to be home as a family

Yesterday was a strange day at work. There were only three people in my entire building. It was nice and quiet…one could actually get work done if so inclined. The work I am currently doing sort of hinges on help from another department who are all out this week…so I read up on how to work the Ipod I got for Christmas, ordered some photos from shutterfly, and talked to a friend. Sometimes I am super awesome at finding ways to get through 9-5 without actually getting anything done.

Wednesday night we met up with super good family friends to have dinner before D and I headed back to Philly. Much to my delight they brought me a photocopy of the ultrasound from that morning. They are going to have a little girl. The name they like right now is Genevieve Gabriella. It was really a blessing to get to see this little thing. She has perfectly formed lips and a gorgeous nose. I can’t wait to meet her…but she isn’t coming til MAY!!!

Today has also been really quiet at work. We went out to Vietnam Restaurant for a 2 hour lunch which was divine and relaxing. My boss just IM’ed me to tell me that I can leave at 2:30….oooh only an hour left. It’s so nice to be home in the afternoon…get random chores done and watch me some Oprah!

Tune in next time for my New Year resolutions…

Friday, December 22, 2006

Took a long time to come...

I have had a really good week. Like I mean really good. D and I keep talking about how 2007 is going to be our year…we even have a song called “This will be our year” by Ok Go which we have been singing to each other lately to remind us:

The warmth of your love’s
Like the warmth of the sun
And this will be our year,
Took a long time to come.
Don’t let go of my hand
Now the darkness is gone
And this will be our year,
Took a long time to come.
And I won’t forget the way you held me
Up when I was down.
And I won’t forget the way you said
“Darling, I love you.”
You gave me faith to go on,
Now we’re there,
And we’ve only just begun.
This will be our year,
Took a long time to come.
The warmth of your smile,
Smile for me little one.
And this will be our year,
Took a long time to come.
You don’t have to worry,
All your worry days are gone.
And this will be our year,
Took a long to come
And I won’t forget the way you held me
Up when I was down.
And I won’t forget the way you said
“Darling, I love you.”
You gave me faith to go on,
Now we’re there,
And we’ve only just begun.
This will be our year,
Took a long time to come.
Yeah, we’ve only just begun.
And this will be our year,
Took a long time to....

So yeah now everyone can sing along. We have just had a really good week which is starting to make me feel like things are turning around for us. Wednesday night we went to see the Premier of Rocky Balboa with some friends. You sort of can’t help but feel inspired with movies like that. The soundtrack alone makes me want to triumph over adversity! Then yesterday D won two tickets to the New Years Gala that we already had tickets to. So we sold ours and are now essentially getting paid to go to a kick ass bash to ring in 2007.

I am trying not to get too insanely optimistic, but I know that I am going to work very hard to make this a good year. I don’t think it could possibly be worse than 2006 (please God don’t let anyone else I love die just yet)
Already we have some lovely things planned for this year. Mum and I are taking a “get away from it all” trip just the two of us in February. I think we will be going to Antigua, just to walk on beaches and drink yummy drinks and relax. Then in May D and I are going to Montreal to celebrate his little cousin’s graduation from high school. One of my maid’s of honour lives up there too so it will be nice to get to spend time with her as well. Then in July we are heading to Vancouver and Victoria for a week of vacationing, visiting friends and attending my uncle’s wedding. We also have a wedding in Ontario in August. Interspersed in here will be the births of a few babies. Hurray.
This afternoon we head out to Toronto for Christmas. Our friends Jen and Lance (the adorable newlyweds) will be picking us up at the airport and taking us to hang at their new house. I can't wait to see their new pad and to chill with them and their cool cats. Tomorrow morning we will head to Barrie where we meet my Mum and start the festivities. Will be a nice few days. Please pray for nice weather for us cause I really would love to actually have my flight be on time!
Also found out yesterday that Nicole named her son Maxwell Robertson. I can't wait to come home after Christmas and kiss and kiss and kiss that baby.

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Tuesday, December 19, 2006

When is it considered too much of a good thing?

As of two minutes ago, my total clementine cosumption for the day has reached a new high...5. and its only 3:30pm...I am sure I will eat more when I get home. Can one get sick from eating too many oranges? Now my tummy is kinda hurting, but that also may be cause I followed all the oranges with some Cadbury's Fruit and Nut.

I am leaving for Toronto on Friday afternoon, and although its only Tuesday, I am feeling the pinch of getting everything done before we go. I have to pack, repack, get D to pack for me cause he can always get everything to fit, do laundry, clean out apt so we don't come home to a mess when we get back, get D's tux to the drycleaners at some point, suss out all this work crap. Those are just the necessary things. We still have to get our suitcases that we store at D's mom's place cause we have no room...I don't know why but little details really seem to stress me out lately. I found a new doctor I want to start going to see for grief counselling and just life in general help. But for some reason it took me about two weeks to call his office? It's silly but I am just getting overwhelmed by the most random things.

Tonight we are hoping to go play Quizzo with some friends, tomorrow we have tickets to see the late showing of the new Rocky movie. Thursday is just going to be last minute running around stuff and Friday I only work til 12 and head to the airport. Home sweet home. I can't wait to see my Mum, but I am really nervous about how emotional Christmas is going to be. I know there will be a lot of crying involved which while therapeudic is also stressful. Anyway, two posts in one day and this one is starting to drag on.

Blessings/Star gazings

I don’t know why the comment someone left for yesterday’s post is bugging me so much. I really am (usually) an optimistic person. I try to find the good in both people and situations. I am a really happy, nice, kind and friendly person. I just have happened to be in a bit of a funk lately. I miss my Dad a lot. It’s making me really depressed sometimes but I still feel like I am dealing pretty well for the situation I am in. And while I have been more stuck in my surroundings of the gutter as of late, there have been many blessings in my life which I will recount here…I am looking at the stars still whenever I can.

1) Two of my close girlfriends have had healthy babies in the past month. Tara and her husband welcomed little Sophie on November 27th. Nicole and her husband became proud parents of a little boy last night. Both babies are healthy; ten fingers ten toes, and “perfect” is the consensus so far.

2) My cousin and his wife are having a baby in March. Her pregnancy so far has been smooth and uneventful; she felt the first kicks this past weekend

3) My mother has learned how to take care of my Dad’s business in a relatively short amount of time. She is pressing on through her grief to get all the lose ends tied up with his car business so they can try to sell the lot at the beginning of the year

4) I have an amazing supportive, loving, caring and sweet husband. He makes me dinner, helps motivate me to exercise and encourages me in all my ventures. He knows just when I need a cuddle and just when I need a smooch. He has honed his skills at reading all my facial expressions and noises so he just gets up and gets me a drink sometimes just cause "I could tell you were thirsty" Love sweet love.

5) My grandparents who are now 90 and 85 have been healthy this year and are living near my Mum to help provide her with the love and support she needs.

6) My brother Elliott surprised himself with his capabilities this year. He took off on his own and headed to Australia for a Degree exchange program. He called yesterday to let me know that he passed with all A’s and now had a Degree in international business from the University of Western Sydney.

7) My youngest brother Taylor is finally learning the value of hard with and what he is really capable of. After taking the scenic route through college, he is busting his butt working two jobs and finishing up school this semester. He finally seems a little sure of himself.

8) I found a hobby that I absolutely love and take great joy in. I have parlayed it into a small side business that I hope to increase in the coming months.

9) I have an amazing best friend. We can go for weeks without talking but I know that no matter when I call her or what I need she would be there in a minute. I know she feels the same way about me. That is extremely comforting.

10) I have come to a better place within my job. My crappy boss left and my coworker and friend has taken over her position. He really deserved it and has so far been managing our department in such a way that we are all much, much happier. I just moved to a new cubicle with a window seat…it’s the next best thing to being outside all day.
11) I have great friends. My friend Liz is always available to talk to online (we are at work the same hours) She always knows how to make me feel better and can talk me down from the insanity that is my inner monologue. We have both been growing together this year as we try to better ourselves and leave behind our insecurities

12) I just got off the phone with my grandmother who just told me that she decided to give the grandchildren part of her inheritance now. So I can get out of debt and have some savings. Excellent.

13) The Drycleaners found my dress. Apparently the tag fell off the bag or something so when I went in yesterday we had to watch the entire rack of clothes go around, but hallelujah! We found it!

14) I have pretty good health. (as I knock on wood) I haven’t had any bad colds yet this year and with the exercising that I have been doing I may be able to try to keep illness at bay.

…this is all for now as I really have to get back to work…which is another blessing as I am employed by a company, I have health insurance and I get a really good amount of days off a year.

Monday, December 18, 2006

Minutes of Today

8:35am:Am sitting at work enjoying my milkyway chocochino (from the weird new coffee machine at work) and eating Special K Strawberry snack bites. Tres tasty. I am currently pissed at myself for forgetting my glasses today... I remembered the case, but I realize that the important part of that equation is still sitting on my bedside table.
We had a really nice weekend. Friday night we did Hanukkah with D and his parents. We exchanged some cool gifts and went out for dinner. My mother in law is crazy stressed with her job right now so we took it upon ourselves to try to cheer her up. Hopefully it worked. Saturday we just hung out and watched some Christmas movies together, including the Muppets Christmas Carol. (this was my present from the first night of Hanukkah) if you haven’t seen it, I highly recommend it. Nothing screams Christmas like a bunch of Muppets and Michael Caine! Sunday we drove to Scranton and back to have lunch with D’s Grandma Pearl. It was sweet of her to take us out for lunch, but it was tough going as we missed the Eagles/Giants game. D and his Dad were pretty concerned that they would hear the score before we got home to watch it on Tivo, so we made sure to have no outside stimuli for the 2.5 hrs back to Philadelphia. Let me tell you, watching football when you can fast forward is WAY better than normal football…I wonder if I can institute that as a new rule on Sundays…?

1:29pm: Work is quiet today. Everyone is on vacation…yet I still have tons to do. I am trying to install a client application on to my work comp, but it is so old and crappy that it is taking forever. I can really get my job done this way.

2:37pm: Wow where did the last hour go? That’s cool. Although I really am ready to be heading home now. I have just learned that Monday night Football tonight is a huge game so we will be watching that at 8:30. I am a bit confused. When I first started dating a sports nut I was feeling ok with the fact that I would have to relinquish control of the television (and our living room) to watch Eagles games on Sundays. Now there is Thursday night football, Saturday night football…and we no longer just are content to watch the beloved Birds play, we also have to watch all games that have potential to affect our playoff standings. Zzzzzz. I can sometimes get into an Eagles game, in fact I have yelled at the TV many times this past season, but I just can’t seem to care about other random teams.

3:41pm: Have been trying to install new software all afternoon. Why do I always get error messages? But on the plus side this afternoon has gone by really quickly and I am leaning towards going home. First stop will be to return a Hanukkah gift that I got for D that he isn’t too crazy about, then on to the drycleaners in the hopes that I can find my dress that they some how misplaced.

Thursday, December 14, 2006

please...what next

I miscalculated my finances and when I went to the bank today I was -$300.02. Great. And I just realized that the drycleaning I picked up last night didn't contain the bridesmaid dress (that I really like) that is a $250 designer dress. Just realized that now. Of course I have no proof cause the drycleaners takes the ticket back when you hand it in. I am so freaking close to just complete mental nothingness, why do I feel like I can't catch a break? I just am so unhappy right now i don't know what to do with myself