We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars

Thursday, February 23, 2006

Young Innocence

When I was about 7 my Brownie (young girl scouts/guides) leaders house was robbed. I remember thinking that it was so awful and we were all scared once we heard about it. I only got more confused and upset as time went on and the people responsible were caught..it was my next door neighbours daughter and one of her friends. I was so troubled as up to that point I had only thought that men were "bad guys" I was sure that this couldnt be right...women didnt do bad things, men did. I felt totally betrayed by my gender...I just didnt get it. I think its strange, but that feeling of loss has always stuck with me...I have always been a bit naieve and trusting, but that was a big shock to me, the first time that my certainty had been proven false.

Thats Ace

Listening to Ace Young sing "Father Figure" on last nights American Idol was the first time that I would have been totally cool with a guy wanting me to call him 'Daddy'. That boy eye fucked the hell out of me via camera and I just wanted to say...damn. I am sure a large part of the viewing audience of American Idol feels the same way...sheesh. The hub thinks he is just annoying eye candy, but if that boy sang to me...there would be nothing but trouble. man alive. George Michael never sounded that good. yikes

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Cruel and Unusual Punishment

To be honest I don’t really know where I stand on the death penalty issue. Some cases it seems to make total sense and then in others I am on the fence. But Michael Morales in California has been whining about his lethal injection that is on the horizon lately and its pissing me off. Apparently his lawyer and others are saying that its lethal injection is cruel and unusual punishment as they are rendered unconscious, but then it takes like 30 minutes for them to die. This particular whiner TORTURED AND RAPED A 17 YEAR OLD GIRL. Dude, you completely lost your right to complain and get ANY sympathy from me once you did that. I am sure that it wasn’t a humane torture and rape that you inflicted upon her. Chances are that she suffered a lot longer than 30 minutes. So what the hell makes you think that you deserve anything less? You are going to die and I am sure that no matter how that would happen it wouldn’t be pleasant, but at least you will be unconscious and it’s for a reason. A beautiful 17 year old high school student didn’t deserve what happened to her in any way. So shut up. No one wants to hear about it. I hope you burn in hell for the rest of eternity.

Monday, February 20, 2006

My Mothers Daughter

When my parents were getting separated and I didn’t believe my fathers BS about my Mum he would say to me with such disdain “you are just like your mother”. For a 16 year old girl that was devastating and hurtful. I took it to mean that he felt all those hurtful things about me too—his only daughter. He grew much closer to my younger brothers at this time, but that was because they would listen to his lies about my Mum. They were young and didn’t know what to believe.

I just spent the weekend in Ontario visiting my Mum and loving stepdad, and now I wish I could tell my “real” father that I am glad the thought I am like my mother. She is the most magnificent woman that I know. And I strive to be like her in many ways—that phrase couldn’t hurt me again. I know that my Mum was a strong woman, one who had essentially raised three kids herself, she put up with an alcoholic, emotionally abusive and absent husband for 15 years, working as hard as she could, believing that if she just worked harder it would get better.

I see as I get older how we really are alike—we get rosy cheeked and giggle after one glass of wine. We habitually cut out pictures and phrases from magazines that we like and hold on to them. We love to read, and drink tea. We laugh at nothing, we are both so silly and our husbands just love our craziness. We both care too much what other people think, we are both insecure (a likely by-product of my father), and we are both good at keeping in touch with friends. I am just seeing more and more of my mother in myself lately and I am looking back at what my father said and taking it as a compliment.

So, if you are out there, thank you. That was a compliment you paid me all those years ago.

Friday, February 03, 2006

An explanation of football *I didnt write this*

Football is played on a field that is 100 yards (374 kilometers) long and is covered with lines called "hash marks" to indicate where players have lost their breakfasts.
On either side of the field are the benches, where the 350 playerswho are not involved in the game sit and wave to their moms.
Behind each benchis a big plastic jug of Gatorade. The object of the game is to be the first team to dump this on the "coach", a very angry man who hates everybody.
The game is divided into four 15-minute quarters, each of which lasts a little over three hours. Timeouts may be called by anybody at any time for any reason,including political unrest in Guatemala.
Between the second and third quarters,there is a halftime musical extravaganza in which Neil Diamond, Toni Tennille,the Muppets and the late Al Hirt join with every human being who has everauditioned for Star Search to perform "A Tribute to Medleys".
The game begins when a small man of foreign extraction kicks the pigskin, or"ball", as far as possible, then wisely scuttles off the field.
The referee then places the ball on an imaginary "line of scrimmage", which is visible only to the referee and his imaginary friend, Mr. Pootywinkle. On either side of this line, the two teams form "huddles", where they decide who will perform the traditional celebratory dance when the upcoming "play" is over.
The "play" itself happens very quickly, so you foreign persons must not blink, or you'll miss it. Here's what happens: 1. A large player called the "center" squats over the ball, and then the"quarterdeck" touches him in a way that would get them both executed in the Middle East. 2. All the players run into each other and fall down. 3. Certain players leap to their feet and perform celebratory dances, while referees add to the festivity by hurling brightly colored flags into the air.
Now comes the heart and soul of football: Watching slow-motion replays of the players falling down.
You'll see this from every possible point of reference, including the Hubble telescope. You'll see so many replays that at some point you'll swear that, in the background, you can see Mr. Pootywinkle.
When the replays are finally over, the referee formally announces that the playdoes not count. Then it's time for eight commercials featuring sport utility vehicles climbing Mount Everest, and it's back to the huddles for more non-stop-action! Yes, foreign persons, football is a complex sport, but you'll find that if you take the time to watch this year's Super Bowl, you will soon discover why everyyear, so many millions of Americans are glued to their television sets. Watching rental videos.

**Being Canadian I found this too good not to share**

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Jealousy thy name is big sister

So I wake up the other morning to find this a pic like this in my inbox (the actual one is too big to put on here and for the life of me I cant resize it...but I digress) My younger bro is living la vida loca currently in Sydney Australia. He just finished College and has moved to Aus for a year to do a degree program with the University of Western Sydney. While reading his adventure-filled email, I started feeling intense shooting pains to my gut (first thought = indigestion...soon fully diagnosed as unparalleled envy.) He has worked really hard to finish school and I know that this adventure is going to be very good for him (first time away from home) But this is also piquing my wanderlust. See, I was born under a travelling star and while I love to have a home and nest, I constantly look to plan my next trip and adventure. His trip to locals exotic and far away are making me feel even more trapped in my life. A job I hate...and now that I am married, decisions to just pack up and move can no longer be made without serious consideration. My new plan is to try to save up my days off and go visit in the fall, but if work and finances keep up this way it doesnt look possible. I never thought that my life would turn out this way...I am happy as can be, but I always thought I would travel around for a few years and have more adventures, not be tied to a desk job by 25. Urgh, just need to vent to an imagined sympathetic audience.