I have a dream....

Was just downstairs doing laundry when I felt something tickle my baby toe...I looked down and aside from the cute Ann Taylor Loft flip flops I was wearing I SAW A BABY COCKROACH ON MY FOOT! I screamed, kicked it off and thought I would hyper ventilate. Perhaps its idealistic of me, but similar to the great MLK Jr I have a dream...that dream is to one day live in my own house and it not have creepy crawlies all over the place! MAN ALIVE I hate just seeing bugs, but having them on me makes me want to projectile vomit. Freaking gross.

That is all for now. YICK

Thankful for the small things

Ah the simple pleasures in life. Today I am taking great joy in rekindling an old love affair with Skittles. I went to get water in the kitchen at work and low and behold the snack machine guy came today with the "summer stock". See they dont deliver much chocolate to vending machines in the summer (so I have been told) cause it gets all melty and such, so in the summer we get new goodies, case in point, my skittles. And to top it off my coworkers radio is playing "Time after Time" again and I am smiling, thinking of Romy and Michele's high school reunion. That song factors into the best scene in that movie. My afternoon is complete

Thoughts from today

There is a moth that is living on the wall in the hall outside of my apartment. This is a huge moth, like, uncalled for big. And it just sits and waits. Hub thinks I am being silly as I tell him not to make eye contact with it…I think sitting up there plotting; waiting for us to leave the door open long enough and then it’s going to swoop down and come into our apartment. Either that or it’s preparing to give birth to a colony of humongous moth babies that will swoop down and take over our apartment. I have christened it “Mothra”. And if I am never heard from again please come rescue me from the moth invasion.
(*did I mention that I like Drama?*)

Of all the obstacles in a relationship I am finding the body temperature regulation to be the most difficult. I am always cold. My feet are freezing, my nose is chilled and I just so very much need a hoodie…Hub on the other hand is always hot. He is hot outside in March in Shorts and a T-shirt. He has been near death for the past two months waiting for our building to switch to A/C…he went out and even bought and installed screens on our windows (This is a huge thing as he isn’t all that handy and often jokingly states “hun I’m a Jew, we pay people to do these things for us”) So he is currently in heaven with the windows open and the A/C on (we don’t pay for the AC that’s why the windows are open as well) So I wake up Monday morning, put on my robe, keep a quilt with me, get my slippers on and trudge downstairs to read the thermostat…its 60 degrees in my apartment! I am freezing to death in the spring, help me people. I know he doesn’t mean to be freezing me out of house and home, but I have taken to wearing my blanket around the house draped over my shoulders. I don’t remember it being quite this bad last summer although this has plagued us through the course of our relationship…what to do what to do?

The best $3.99 I have spent in a while was putting 20Q on my cell phone. When work is driving me crazy and I just want to run away, I lock myself in a stall, put my phone on silent and try to stump the computer with my Animal, Vegetable, Mineral, or Other. I am surprised at how often this thing is right…I don’t understand the Algorithms behind it at all, but it seems enough like magic to keep me trying to get it. Whatever gets you through the day!

Keep the Faith

When I was young, my Mum took my brothers and I to church most Sundays. It was a really old anglican church and we hated it. We found it boring (except for the christmas pagent) and we didnt like going too much. We moved right before I started highschool, and the first group I fell in with was a churchy crowd. I started going to church with my new friends every sunday, we had youth group once a week and just all around had a good time. As I got a bit older though, I noticed how hypocritical certain members of the churchy clique were. I had met new people, was dealing with my parents divorce and my fathers alcoholism and had started drifting away from those I once held so dear. I felt that they were passing judgement onto me and some of my new friends for decisions that we were making (drinking, smoking cigarettes etc.) and I just didnt feel like I belonged anymore. My new friends were different and I felt like they understood me better. I stopped going to church and decided that all christians were too busy passing judgement on others to worry about being christ-like.

It's been years since I have belonged to a church and lately I have been missing it. Strange things have been calling me back...but I have been trying to reconcile my faith to those things around me, science, newer knowledge, my athiest friends. I have been trying to figure out what it is that I believe, cause for so long I believed what I was told in church...and I know that some where in there, in between what I feel I am supposed to believe and what others tell me to believe is what I feel, what I can identify with. I dont really know how to figure it out...I have a strange sense of guilt sometimes (I should have been Catholic ;) ) about my faith. What I "should" believe. All I know is that right now I have faith. Faith that is getting me through some really tough times in my life. Does it matter what it is I have faith in? Where does one look to figure this out? I have been trying to look inside myself and figure it out, but it's harder than I thought. I cant tell what it is that I think/feel, and what it is that is intruding from the outside. I believe in a higher power. I believe that prayer works...is that enough of a start?